FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION AMONG BRETHEN.

The oxford English Dictionary defines quarrel as “angry argument; a reason for disagreement” It is natural to quarrel when circumstances necessitate it and it is man’s inalienable right to be angry when provocation arises. These are basic facts of life. But the questions are: shall we continue to yield to emotion and quarrel easily due to circumstances or get angry once provoked? Would such behaviour enhance our spiritual growth? Will our soul find peace in such be behavioural pattern? Must we allow our emotion to enslave us?
In organization as in several churches, members quarrel just as in any other human organization or society.Usually, quarrel is a product of disagreement over several things. It might be material, administrative or even spiritual matter.
The people quarrel to disagree among themselves does not really matter. What matters (mostly to Christians) is the handling or reactions to the situations of quarrel or disagreement. When the need to quarrel or disagree among people (especially brethren) arises, how should the situation be handled? It is always proper to make our feelings known when provoked without causing damages by our reactions.
This brings to mind a recent occurrence at a church where a member was said to have sued his parish priest in his personal capacity over a debt owed him by the church. This column is not interested in the righteousness or otherwise of the action. That is a cup of tea for legal minds to sip and ponder over.
Our concerns here is the spiritual import of such a situation.1st Corr.6:1-7 enjoins Christians to always try and resolve their differences among themselves and not allow any adjudication outside the body of Christ. Matthew 18:15-17 also admonishes every Christians on how disputes, be it on financial matters or otherwise should be settled.
This is exactly why in various churches; there are usually the leaders who take care of certain disputes among members. In the Catholic Church, for instance, you have the Catholic Men Organization (CMO), Catholic Women Organization (CWO), the Catholic Youths Organization of Nigeria (CYON) and several other groups or societies. At the peak of all these is the Parish Council. Given the composition of the parish council which is usually made up of representatives of all statutory groups, members can rightly be referred to as the wise “men” (and women) of the organization. In some other churches, you have the elders or leaders committee or council that oversees the activities of the Church. These are there to handle issues that may occur among member and settle them amicably.
It is expected that any aggrieved Christians should explore any of these bodies in seeking justice. There is no doubt that access to court is a constitutional human right of every citizen. But as a proverb in Yoruba Language says: “we don’t return from the court to be friends”.Literally,friendship is thrown to the dogs before people drag themselves to court and the basis of friendship having been destroyed before heading to court, it is often difficult to restore it back after the court session.
Besides, we are daily indebted to God through our sins and we seek forgiveness. Romans 3:23 reminds us that we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
If we tell God in our simplifications for forgiveness of our debts through sin we commit often knowingly, should we not ponder deeply over that owed us by our neighbours? As Christains, let us reflect over Matt: 22:35 where a debtor was forgiven for a huge amount he owed but yet he was unable to forgive another debtor who owed him a lesser amount.
In our life, there was this landlord whose fellow landlord friend complained to that a tenant who owed him five months rent was offering to make a part payment of two months only and seeking advice on what to do. This landlord rather than advise his friend to take the two months and give his tenant time to pay the rest; he simply told him to collect the two months rent and use the money to process court papers or pay a lawyer to eject the tenant since he could no longer pay his rent as at when due.
A month later, this first landlord’s younger brother in Lagos phoned him begging for financial assistant to enable him rent a new apartment as his former landlord threw his property out over a nine months rent arrears.
Surprisingly, in anger, this first landlord called his brother’s landlord so many unprintable names for not being patient with his brother who was owing for nine months. He no doubt has forgotten the advice he gave to his friends whose tenant owed just five months.
The lesson from all these is, that is in our quest to level up with people over an issue, we should always be mindful of our shortcomings before God who has the power to take an instant decision on our faith and lives. He, as God of justice, has given us the grace to rationalize our actions, mostly in our relationship with others as professed Christians.
We should always endeavour to show love and forgiveness towards each other as followers of Christ and as stated in Psalm 133:1-3.